TIGER’S BALLS?: A MEDICAL ANALYSIS
Posted in THE CY CHRONICLE on December 3rd, 2009 by CY – 2 Comments
A stranger handed me a document whilst I was minding my own business outside The Ritz. She was dressed as a traffic enforcer, but I concluded that it must have been a disguise because she didn’t have the simpering, brain-washed attitude of a proper car hating tax grabber. It was obvious that she was very excited as she explained that she had spent two days developing a micro thesis on the medical distinction between “guts” and “balls”.
I attach below her cutting-edge paper, a copy of which she allowed me to keep. I admit that she presented her thoughts in a primitive style but, on reflection, her uneven use of punctuation has a certain impact. Her concluding remarks make uneasy reading, but I’m sure you’ll agree that her teasing peasant’s wit slightly softens the blow.
As we parted she suggested that Tiger Woods (the famous golfer) had “balls” as opposed to “guts”. I suspect that she wasn’t referring to the white dimpled things that Tiger hits around a field for a living. Please read her mini-thesis for yourself and see if you agree.
GUTS OR BALLS
Ever wondered about
> | Guts or Balls…
>
> There is a medical distinction. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls,
> But do you really know the difference between them?
> In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
>
> GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys,
> Being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
> ”Are you still cleaning, or have you just flown in?”
>
> BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer,
> Lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ”You’re next, fatty.”
>
> I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
>
> Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome,
> Since both ultimately result in death .
