MODERN TRIALS: CHAPTER 29, CRUEL AND NASTY AND BAD

What follows is an extract from the novel MODERN TRIALS.

“Mr Goldman will see you now.”

Evelyn looked up at the attractive nurse and folded her arms to hide trembling hands. “Sorry my dear, did you say something?”

“Yes Mrs Rutter, it’s your turn. Let me show you through. And please call me Mary. Is there anybody with you this time? I’ll find them if you want.”

“No, I’m on my own. Come on then, let’s get it over with.”

Evelyn gripped her little handbag, containing only  No. 5 and car keys, as they walked slowly across the waiting room. Grey carpets and blue walls scratched forever into her memory. The eyes that followed her seemed already to know her fate.

The consultant stood to greet them in his modern room. “Come in ladies. Eve, you take a seat here in this comfy chair.”

Evelyn laughed. “Oh you don’t have to butter me up  Michael. I don’t mind where I sit.”

“I insist. That way we can chat without me preaching from behind that big desk.”

Evelyn complied and Mr Goldman sat opposite her. “No Julian? I hoped he’d be with you today. Is he around?”

“No, I’m afraid he’s at work. You know what he’s like. Work, work, work.” Evelyn crossed her legs and picked at the sleeve of her dark tailored jacket. “He sends his apologies.”

“That’s too bad, he always was a passionate career man. Would you like Mary to sit in with us?”

Evelyn looked beyond the doctor, to the plaque on his desk that read Mr Michael Goldman, Consultant Oncologist. “Yes, I think I would like that very much.”

The door clicked quietly and Mary sat near the small window, where the blinds drew tiger stripes across her face.

“So how have you been getting along with the painkillers? Any side effects?”

“Only every single one you listed,” she joked. “I’m exhausted with being sick all the time. I’ve become an old woman Michael and I hate it. I hope that they’re doing some good. And that you’ve got some good news for me, because I can’t go on like this.”

She watched the doctor for clues. He removed his glasses, closed his brown eyes, and loosened his cheerful tie.

“Any pain?” he asked calmly.

“Yes. In my tummy, worse than ever. I think it’s started shooting into my legs now. And there’s still blood, just a few spots, but blood in the toilet after I’ve been. When I can go that is.” Eve nodded, and lightly brushed her hair from her cheek.

“We’ve known each other a long time Eve haven’t we. It’s unfortunate that Julian couldn’t join us.”

Eve became aware of a ticking clock, a table full of leaflets, and looked at the doctor like a girl to her father. “Yes, well, couldn’t be helped. So,” she continued, swirling an imagined rice grain between finger and thumb, “Ellie well? And the boys? All grown up now I suppose.”

“They are all fine Eve. Thomas starts at Bristol this year.” He paused to look at the beautiful lady, to delay the moment that he would alter her permanently. “Evelyn, I have the results from the tests I did when we last met. I’m so sorry that it has taken so long.” As he continued a tear rolled down Evelyn’s face. “Mary, have you got a tissue?”

“Of course doctor, here let me.”

Mary crouched next to Evelyn’s chair, where she remained, as Evelyn dabbed her eyes and held Mary’s hand.

“Evelyn, I am terribly sorry, but the tests have confirmed my diagnosis. I am afraid that you have cancer of the bowel. I am so sorry.”

His patient hesitated, then smiled bravely. “I know we spoke of it Michael, but tell me again, what does it mean? I don’t understand what you are saying to me.” 

Michael cleared his throat. “Eve, do you remember the sigmoidoscopy. The fancy word for the optical investigation? Don’t worry, we won’t be doing that again, but it has revealed a tumour in your large intestine. The long colon to be precise.”

“Oh, God in heaven Michael,” she whimpered. “Please, is there any, anything that can be done? For all that is good, tell me that. Tell me that there’s hope.”

“I will arrange a CT scan, or maybe ultrasound. We need to know how advanced it is. Whether it has spread into your lymph nodes. That will help me decide on the treatment. We can try surgery…”

Eve wept, gripping the nurse. “Just let me go home,  I can’t face the scalpel. I need to go. Now. Just leave me, I’ll be no trouble.”

“Now Eve listen, surgery can be effective. We can  remove the diseased colon. I’m afraid that we might need to perform a colostomy, but in some cases we can reconnect the colon, in time.” Mr Goldman looked away from Evelyn’s crushed eyes. “Aggressive radiotherapy, or chemo, can also help.”

“I’m not taking this in Michael. For a second I thought you said I’d be left with a bag. You need to tell me again. Again!”

“Of course. But please hear this. I need to progress this treatment urgently. When you next see me I want to see somebody with you. This cannot be faced on your own. Surely Julian can get some time off.”

“No, no, he can’t. Or won’t. I’m all alone. He won’t help. He doesn’t love me. Never did.”

“Come on Eve. What about a friend, or other family? What about Charmian, can she find some time?”

Evelyn Rutter watched teardrops explode and slowly said, “I don’t know, don’t know. I’ve been bad Michael. Cruel and nasty and bad. Charmian won’t help when she learns the truth, what I’ve done to her.”

“Eve, just think over what I have said. I promise that we will do all we can for you. With your determination then who knows.”

Mary reached for Evelyn as her face distorted, and the frail lady shook in her arms.

NOTE: Please click on MODERN TRIALS for further details of the novel from which this extract has been taken and further extracts.