BIKE RIDER: THE FACE OF A MONSTER

Elvis Costello famously reported that “London is full of Arabs” in Oliver’s Army, his anti occupation anthem. Rich melodies and Abba-esque, piano driven nu-wave energy softened the controversial message, but that was 1979 when Hong Kong was still up for grabs, cars ran on four star and Maggie “Milk Snatcher” Thatcher  had yet to break the unions. Much has changed. The Arabs are still here, but so too is something altogether more unexpected. If Costello was penning the same track today, thirty years down the line, he would no doubt complain that “London is full of cyclists“!

I expect that the boys from Queen would approve of this development. “I like to ride my bicycle, my bicycle, my bike. I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride it where I like,” now sounds like a manifesto, or call to arms. Today, cyclists plague the roads and pavements like demented missiles locked on to pedestrians, buses and cars on a mission to maim.

The problem was illustrated yesterday as I was walking to Covent Garden. Under an umberella and hard rain I waited at traffic lights as buses, cabs and cars stopped to allow us to cross. All was well until a dozen cyclists ignored the red light and careered through the pedestrians in a storm of spray and superiority. A pregnant woman screamed as a wall-eyed man (see photo-that really is him) on a racing bike missed her by inches.

If it had not been raining so violently I would have planted my brolly in his spokes to take him out of the equation and stop him from causing further harm. But the rain was relentless and he was going too fast, travelling above the rules and ignorant of other’s safety. I addition I was distracted by his fellow cyclists kicking wing mirrors, scratching doors and shaking their fists at us.

I was relieved to reach the pavement when I heard shocked voices, loud voices issuing a warning. I looked towards the complicated junction near The Roundhouse as the wall-eyed man dropped his head and pedaled like a demon into an elderly woman on a Zebra Crossing. I ran over to help but the cyclist kept going leaving the woman splattered on the ground. She survived the impact but in a Matrix moment I saw clearly the cyclists zooming down pavements, ignoring lights, turning across the paths of other vehicles, shouting abuse at pedestrians and causing mayhem.

I thought about writing to Boris Johnson, but London’s mayor wants to encourage this species of lawless road user. The years may pass, Arabs and Russians come and go, but the passage of time does not always equal progress. I imagine that Dickens would have likened the cyclists to the horse drawn carts that used to kill up to 800 Victorians a month back in the day.

I wonder whether this experience is unique to London, or whether it is replicated throughout the land or in the great cities of the world. Is anywhere safe from this tyranny? Why not share your experiences, good or bad. If you like to ride your bicycle where you like let me have your take on these important issues.